alive
November 3, 2011 @ Thursday, November 03, 2011
the eve of the new year.while people will be having their midnight snog or dancing drunk to some electro, pittyful little me will be stuck at home, getting high on a four pack of V, watching both of the half an hour showings of the family and midnight fireworks, and wishing i was there, around smelly people screaming their lungs out who will most probably get a shag that night.
Alot of shit happened during the day, what a way to finish the year. although i had a few good laughs with my brother, including sealing a deal with him; me bringing him to the city (cos his too chicken shit to go by himself) for the price of a V and never owing him money :) pretty good since i always seem to owe him money. fireworks arent all that amazing to me really, though theres just something that makes me want to see them this year, be in the atmosphere. though for some reason this is playing out like my zoo party. i dont even want to start on that.
im not sure how the night will end, all i know is that ill be making phonecalls to some special people :)
so 2008, was like a spring board, something seemed to affect another, mostly it was bad. but i guess this was the year where i grew closer with school friends. i sense our year has become closer in ways. i only ever noticed when alot of us sat together in the mornings, it looked nice :)
and it has been without any question duck and king's year :D weve gone through alot this year, and learned new things about each other. everyone ditching us for boyfriends, other plans and shit, has only made us tight like your mum in a banana suit.
2008 was my year of the concerts. it held my first and most memorable, soundwave. that was by far the best time i had this year. also i met the beautiful larry :)
Soundwave pretty much released the badass genes i got from my dad.
saw sum 41 with hidayah and irina and click five, short stack and heroes for hire with hidayah and ammar. best times, letting go, living for the moment.
so i wrote all that before i actually went out for nye.
this is my story.
the deal me and my brother made, didnt really happen as the shit that happened during the day, back lashed onto my brother and therefore was not allowed to go to the city. ive never seen him this pissed off and upset ever, so it was kinda a shock. i felt so sorry for him, so i thought i would relive his happy mood with blasting music we both liked. so that happened, a bit of dancing, shouting here and there, really fun. so it was V time. i dressed up as a freak. i was really hypo. i wore my scarf over my face like ninjas do, and wore sunnies on with crocs for shoes, i know gay. i walked out, my brother being ashamed of me. i also brought my camera because seriously this was a moment not to forget.
i was only about 8 houses away from mine where i spotted my first onlooker, little, probably 8/9 yr old kid. he was staring, as anybody would, so i said hi, WHILE i was attempting to take a photo of me and my brother. he stared i moved on and shouted out im sicli jesmi (touch my body in arab/lebanese, although i only said it cos he was arab and it was the only arab thing i knew).
we walk down the street, me and my brother, as i be my retard hypo self. i turn around as i hear running, it was the same kid from before. im like okkkayyy? he said his dad wanted to speak to me. "whyyy???", because you took a photo of me, "wtttff???!!!".
urgh, i hate this part right here.
he starts chucking this taking photos of children without parental consent is an illegal crime, blah blah. he was harrassing me. yelling, screaming, "if you do not give me your memory card i will call the police, you only have these two options, police of give me memory card and i destroy it".
im just like WHAT THE FUCK!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!! i didnt take a photo of this ugly son of his. i throw im a girl, im 15, i wear a scarf, your a man, why would i take a photo of YOUR son, i do photography, taking photos of your son is NOT photography (trying to imply his ugly), look ill prove to you i dont have a photo, ill erase my whole card, ill destroy it myself, why are you calling the cops, im not a fucking pedofile, fuck you, dickhead, FUCK YOU!, this is a present for my birthday. the list goes on. i even tried the whole be mature thing, "i understand that is a crime, that is why i did not do it, i would obviously know its illegal, i do have a camera". THIS MAN SERIOUSLY WOULD NOT BUDGE! fuckwit.
mind you he was those fucking religious typical lakemba bums who wear those long white dresses, full thick pubic beard, religious hat on head. and HE is chasing after a girl. screaming at her. WTF is that. i tell him why are you even talking to me, im a muslim girl you are a muslim MAN, wheres your religion? fucking hypocrite. when i try to show him i dont have this apparent photo of his son, he looks away, "legally im not allowed to be close to you". then why the fuck are you running after me calling the cops and having anything to do with me when i am showing in your face there is no existent photo of your fucking fugli ass son" (i didnt really swear).
FUCK. so after me saying NO, WHY? continously, he does call the police, the fucking faggot. obviously i was scared, and i did not want my parents to find out about this shit, as home was a bit unlevel. i cant fucking take this shit. he says to the police "oh this young girl is walking out at this time and she past my house and takes a picture of my son...oh i dont know shes covered with a cloth...shes 15....yes my son". im about to shoot him. he tells me theyr coming, i dont know what to do. i know i was right, i had the prove right here. i was just so scared. i took my compact flash out of my camera and i threw it at his feet. me and my brother walked off. i scream! just a scream. a very loud one. and i just breakdown. who the hell is he to take my possession away from me, something so valuable. my camera is nothing without my compact. its like a body with no heart. empty. i felt empty. i was just yelled at by a stranger pretty much being accused of being a pedofile. he didnt care what my religion was, if i was a girl, if i was right, if my camera was cool. he believed his major dibby dobber son who kept saying she deleted it! she said hi to me, i heard the noise of the camera.
i breakdown. ive just been cheated. i wasnt even there to see him destroy it, what if he kept it. everything was on there. EVERYTHING. if they ever get leaked im dead, ill be heading off to gontor in a jiffy, with no return ticket.
my brother, sweet of him, tries to support me, his only ever seen me like this once. he tells me YOU can call the police he is wrong. his deprived you of your rights. this is the first time i ever call the police. the lady was the sweetest thing, i guess cos i sounded so distressed. i didnt even know what to say at first, i asked a bloody question. she said what he did was wrong and that the police would come get me to try and get it back. she was so beautiful, she made me feel heaps better with her support. if only i could thank her again.
i wait, and wait.....getting dark. dad calls, i have to be home. i end up telling him. his pissed! not that much at me though. he hates this hypocrites ass. still no show from the police, well obviously they have other important things to attend. so i fuck it, they have my number, they'll call. so we start heading home. but the nervousness that was bellowing in my stomach overcame me. i couldnt breathe, everything was blurry, my feet were dying on me, i was falling, i gasped and gasped for air, my head was spinning, everything was closing in on me. i see flashes of my brothers worried face. andreia. i had that instant energy to call her. i knew she would understand. she knows about this. she calms me down, my head is still aching, but im able to breathe again. but i feel it. its still there waiting to come back up. i tell her what happened. i love you andreia!
so much more shit happened with that. thats just the general thing. i ended up having another panic attack kind of thing when i get home. all this for V. i got one in the end :)
i know this bastard, well ive seen him around before. i know where you live son of a bitch! you havent seen the last of this face. you know when your sadness turns into revenge. that thing wasnt just anything, it was part of my world. my secrets, my laughs, my friends, me me me...
that didnt come cheap aswell. and i dont have the money to purchase a new one. the night where i wanted to use it the most, it was taken from me. i felt so deprived, i love my nugie, its nothing without its memory.
but i guess nye turned out pretty ok. hung out with friends. watching fireworks in the local area. having our own fireworks, the real thing & those sparkle ones. as well good photo and video footage was taken. without my camera :(
you may be laughing at how serious i took this. it was serious to me. i was being called a pedofile. thats probably the most degrading thing. im just so shaken up by this.
Happy new years, may it be a great one! for all you non yr 12ers out there.
new years resolution:
all about the revenge.
egg mans house
find out which flat he lives in
convert holden pranks to beard man pranks.
wow never in the day would i thought i would right a soppy depressed about my life blog. i guess 2009 had its first.
duck.
Labels: hey andreia springboard, larry